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Lucid Loquacity

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[Apr. 27th, 2006|11:15 pm]
Lucid Loquacity

novelnovelchunk

[tra2vis]
[music |american girl]

         It's likely he's the most unpunctual person I know. He got the nickname Traffic in high school, but I think that's likely due his dealings in the "pharmaceutical" trade rather than his constant tardiness. I'm not entirely sure how I got mixed up in his debacle, but I've been in the courtroom for close to 45 minutes and my fingers are aching to at least hold a cigarette.
        His father owned a bar, where he worked, only on weekends, and somehow managed to spread the word wide enough to turn it into one of the only party bars in this whole God-forsaken town. The In-Crowd was always there in full force and the dance floor was hopping right up past the last call. Unfortunately, Traffic had a bad habit of not checking IDs.
        That's why we're, or at least I am, here: He took a girl home one night after the bar had closed, both of them completely hammered. If he'd checked her ID that night, he might've realized he was only looking at a learner's permit.
        Fifteen minutes later, he blows through the courtroom doors, sweating and out of breath, stops by my seat to tell me "Sorry, I was caught in traffic." He smiles and I scoff as I get up to go have a cigarette.

-Modern Medicine for the Moth-Eaten
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: alice15
2006-04-28 10:37 pm (UTC)
XDDDD
Ehhhh, me likee. ^_~
Your narator has a distinctive voice (expressed through your tone). W00t to stories with life!
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[User Picture]From: truthnofiction
2006-06-29 02:38 pm (UTC)
♥♥♥♥
IMO, it really brings the reader in.
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[User Picture]From: escapingrome
2006-07-17 12:21 am (UTC)
I agree, I love the narrator's voice; intriguing, without being distracting. Did you mean to make Traffic seem charismatic? He only gets one line but you can sense the relationship between the narrator and him.
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